one day at a time.

i think that its slowly but surely going to get better.
you are constantly on my mind, and you're never far behind.
we're cleaning out different stuff, sending stuff back. in some ways i feel like it's too soon, but then again, when the heck are we supposed to do it?
i want to be at the lake.
i want a tan.
i want a lot of money, just to spend.
my birthday would be nice right about now, 17 more days.
for one birthday, i want all of my close friends to be here. JUST ONCE.
i think england in the fall is going to be super nice and awesome, i cannot wait. its going to be a good trip in memory of my mom.that was one thing she wanted to do really bad.
its going to be really weird traveling now, just me, meredith and my dad. 3 is such an awkward number, 4 seems so right. like, now whos supposed to sit with me on the roller coaster when meredith doesn't want to go? whos supposed to stay at home when we're sick? where are we supposed to go when dad has to travel?
i guess these are all logistics we have to figure out as time goes on.
i'm not ready for things to change with people. some of the most important people, but i know its gotta happen whether they want to admit that it has to or not, i'm just plain not ready, why does it have to happen.