time for a rant.

i already had to say a college goodbye. this is the first in a string of four i'm not looking forward to. these people have held me up this summer when i was falling. i love them with everything i have. i want them to know this.
this wake up call sucks. you're leaving in 13 days. you're leaving me. you promised you wouldn't. i know you can't stay forever, but just a year longer. i need you. i need you. i need you. i'm honestly not sure how i'm gonna do it. but i've done more difficult things. i'll get through it. and you will too.
i miss my best friends. nat, come back.
i'm working on building back my relationship with God. this summer made me question a lot of things. i know he's there. and i know everything happens for a reason. i know that. but when your friend, great grandmother, and mom all die within two weeks, you have to wonder what God's thinking. i know that i'm getting through it. but i'm not sure i've really tried to cope that much, i don't know if i even think about it that much. but there's random moments where it hurts so much.
i'm ready for normalcy. as much as i hate going back to school. it brings back a schedule.
i wish going to school for some people didn't mean going two hours away. i wish you'd just stay.
i need some help. i really think i do.