natalie beshears:

you make me happy.
you boost my self confidence by about 70384 points a day.
you are one of the cutest things i've ever seen
i'm envious of your laptop, clothes, eyes, and face.
you've left me three videos today, its hard for me to keep up.
i'm getting a webcam soon so we can chat, i promise.
i miss you so much. i don't know if you can comprehend.
i want my phone back for the sole purpose of texting you.
i have two accounts, twitter and formspring, mostly because of you.
on my facebook, it looks like you are the only person that really likes me.
i love you. so much, natalie.

i need to follow this.

never apologize for showing feeling, when you do so, you apologize for the truth.

all too often, i get mad at people, then i just want them back in my life, so i make it my fault and apologize.
i need to stop, i need to stop letting people walk all over me. i'm weak. &i just need you to love me.

geeze i never blog anymore.

i guess it seems i'm too busy.

i love snow.
and the happiness it brings.

things.

I'm confused most of the time, I don't know how to respond to half the people that talk to me.
then half the people I want to talk to me for one reason or another just won't.
I miss so many people. I need interaction other than those everyday boring people.
my classes this semester are fantastic, I love them.

I need help. I think I do.

a lot of assurance and uneasiness has been gained from this weekend.

fantastic.


also, a good bit of soreness.

um.

I find it funny that earlier today I write about how happy I was with my relationship status.
then my boyfriend breaks up with me.

ironic, huh?

things I've noticed.

•yeah, uhm, I've changed. a lot.
•I've turned into everything I used to look down upon. I'm such an awful, hypocritical, undeserving, brat. I talk about people behind their backs, I lie too much for my own good, and I constantly complain and cry.
I used to choose to dislike those people, but now I'm just another one of them.
•I miss childhood so. freaking. much.
•I just want a swingset.
•I have really awful trust issues, and I'm not sure why anyone trusts me. I don't know if I've given them a reason.
•all lying does is get you into more trouble than you're already in.
•I'm not sure why I'm sitting here typing this out. just venting I guess.
•it's not like I'm some awful teenager, I don't drink or do drugs, go to crazy parties, or rebel. I still love my family and my favorite part of the week is going to church.
•I'm really quite happy with my relationship status. it's nothing I guess I expected, it just happened, and I like it.
•I don't want fame to be over.
•if you lie to me in telling me you love me, there's a fantastic chance of me getting very angry.

I don't know why I wrote this, I just did.