i had a terrible day.
things keep coming in my direction and my parents think i'm slacking. i'm not. i'm just terribly busy worrying about school and everything else.
i want to escape from this place. concord is getting to be a scene i just don't want to see anymore.
i want things to change in a reasonably soon manor.
please and thank you.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
crumbling.
i like how i can't trust the most "solid" thing i have now.
this all never should have happened.
ugh. teenagers are dumb. i can't stand being here anymore.
get me out.
this all never should have happened.
ugh. teenagers are dumb. i can't stand being here anymore.
get me out.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
this isn't directed at any person in particular.
i need to be needed.i repeat this over and over. but i don't think anyone gets it.if they did.it wouldn't be like this.i'm sick and tired of being in the middle of crap i don't need to be in the middle of, then getting criticized for it.
i love you. i'm sorry. its not your fault. its not my fault. its not anybodys fault. why does there have to blame?
i have this theory that i'm really really going to hate p.e. and geometry this semester. i have a new friend, i like that.
i'm wishing things would go back to the way they used to be. but in some ways, i like whats going on now.
theres a lot about me you don't know. i'm scared to let you in. why? i couldn't tell you. i'm more scared than i appear. in fact, i'm scared crapless, but i don't want to admit it. i'm afraid everything is going to change. i'm afraid the people who mean the most to me are just going to leave. i love you, why would you leave me?
this is all trivial and sad. i don't like it. not one bit.
things are a mess without it being obvious.
help me.
i love you. i'm sorry. its not your fault. its not my fault. its not anybodys fault. why does there have to blame?
i have this theory that i'm really really going to hate p.e. and geometry this semester. i have a new friend, i like that.
i'm wishing things would go back to the way they used to be. but in some ways, i like whats going on now.
theres a lot about me you don't know. i'm scared to let you in. why? i couldn't tell you. i'm more scared than i appear. in fact, i'm scared crapless, but i don't want to admit it. i'm afraid everything is going to change. i'm afraid the people who mean the most to me are just going to leave. i love you, why would you leave me?
this is all trivial and sad. i don't like it. not one bit.
things are a mess without it being obvious.
help me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
milk.
lets break this down.
homeroom: i have no teacher. what teacher doesn't show up to school on the first day of school?
honors english one: we already have a project assigned. but i do think that i'm really going to like this class.
health/pe: this class is POINTLESS. why is it necessary to run around and play sports for nine weeks? and run a mile in the sweltering heat of august, thats right, it isn't.
geometry: i have a bunch of sophomores in this class. i think my teacher is kind of insane. we had homework today, but there weren't nearly enough books for the class, so we had to do it in class.
old testament: i like the teacher. i like the subject matter. its not boring, i really really like this class already.
homeroom: i have no teacher. what teacher doesn't show up to school on the first day of school?
honors english one: we already have a project assigned. but i do think that i'm really going to like this class.
health/pe: this class is POINTLESS. why is it necessary to run around and play sports for nine weeks? and run a mile in the sweltering heat of august, thats right, it isn't.
geometry: i have a bunch of sophomores in this class. i think my teacher is kind of insane. we had homework today, but there weren't nearly enough books for the class, so we had to do it in class.
old testament: i like the teacher. i like the subject matter. its not boring, i really really like this class already.
Monday, August 24, 2009
bees.
its been awhile since i've had a good long post so i've decided to update for you.
i'm slowly becoming more and more acquainted with the fact i'm really sick of mainstream. because i'm far from normal. or mainstream either. i'm starting to really enjoy music that doesn't happen to be on the top 100 of iTunes. because its good to have something for yourself that the rest of america isn't singing.
its good to talk to the people you love. thats why having my phone back is such a lovely thing.
i truly care and love sarah slusarick. she is wonderful. i don't really care what anyone else thinks. she's my best friend.
i'm dealing with the fact that sarah and josh are leaving me next august. and this is hard for me to deal with. because they're basically 2/3 of my life. in a lot of ways.
i'm currently obsessed with the song hide and seek by imogen heap.
the lake was pretty fun yesterday. i got thrown in the lake twice. almost got thrown off of an eighteen foot dock. jumped off the eighteen foot dock, a lot. chilled in a hammock. took pictures. floated. ate. got sunburnt on my cleavage. seriously the only place i got burnt. what the heck. i'm tanner-ish, now.
school starts tomorrow. this is mostly depressing. but i can't say its been such a good summer either. actually, its kind of sucked. minus a few days, and waking up late everyday. i kind of hated a lot of it. sure it was better than school. but you know, whatever.
things i want to accomplish this year:
1. 4.5 gpa.
2. class rank in the top five.
3. be a better friend.
4. be a better person in general.
5. love and be loved.
i'm slowly becoming more and more acquainted with the fact i'm really sick of mainstream. because i'm far from normal. or mainstream either. i'm starting to really enjoy music that doesn't happen to be on the top 100 of iTunes. because its good to have something for yourself that the rest of america isn't singing.
its good to talk to the people you love. thats why having my phone back is such a lovely thing.
i truly care and love sarah slusarick. she is wonderful. i don't really care what anyone else thinks. she's my best friend.
i'm dealing with the fact that sarah and josh are leaving me next august. and this is hard for me to deal with. because they're basically 2/3 of my life. in a lot of ways.
i'm currently obsessed with the song hide and seek by imogen heap.
the lake was pretty fun yesterday. i got thrown in the lake twice. almost got thrown off of an eighteen foot dock. jumped off the eighteen foot dock, a lot. chilled in a hammock. took pictures. floated. ate. got sunburnt on my cleavage. seriously the only place i got burnt. what the heck. i'm tanner-ish, now.
school starts tomorrow. this is mostly depressing. but i can't say its been such a good summer either. actually, its kind of sucked. minus a few days, and waking up late everyday. i kind of hated a lot of it. sure it was better than school. but you know, whatever.
things i want to accomplish this year:
1. 4.5 gpa.
2. class rank in the top five.
3. be a better friend.
4. be a better person in general.
5. love and be loved.
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