Being wanted.

I think being wanted is more of an issue than being loved [by a boy]
For me at least. It's not so much that I want "love" than a feeling of being wanted: someone caring about you. Someone caring about what you were doing tonight. Or who you were going to the dance with. This matters much much more to me. It really does.




By the way everyone. Lamanin is the best thing I've ever heard about.
Youtube: louie giglio on lamanin. It will rock your world.

i can't be strong forever...

Today mom has surgery to put in something that's going to make the chemo easier. I'm glad about that. But really? I'm almost half-surprised that I don't burst into hysterics every day when I think about her.
I love her so so so much.
I can't bear the thought of losing her.
I guess if God brings us to it he is going to bring us through it.

frustration.

i'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

could i just get over him? that would make things 10 times easier.
most of the time all i think about is: does he ever think about me?
will he EVER think of me the same way i think about him.

it frustrates me to the enth degree.
everybody around me is falling in love.
maybe its the pollen.
all it does is make me sneeze.
joy to life.

DISCLAIMER:

i'm not who you think i am.

prayer.

my pastor is in the hospital.
she has a tumor on her brain.

my dad talked to someone today whos mom had the exact same type. and she didn't last 6 weeks.

thats one hard concept to wrap your head around.

its been a crap week for news. because my mom didn't get very good results either. she has to go on a lot harder regimen of chemo. which is not good for her system.

to be honest.


i'm terrified.

Tonight was good.

Actually. It was wonderful.

I felt flawlessly gorgeous. I can't explain why. Or how. But really, I did.
The party was wonderful. Period.

Vows.

I vow to...

Love you unconditionally if you give me reason to

Pray to the one who I'll always love and adore.

Be less clingy.

Be a better friend.

Not start rumors.

Be in prayer about my mom all the time. ( I pray you do too. She didn't get very good results today.

All in all-- be a better person than you know
: )