somebody turn the lights on, somebody tell me whats wrong.

i'm okay.
i'm not failing geometry. i'm not failing anything, actually, i'm making a's in every class.
yay high school(:
ok, maybe not. but still, i'm glad i'm doing good.
i don't like that you're too busy to talk to me. it scares me that this is what this year is going to be like if this sets the stage for that....
church tomorrow night, then fame rehearsal the next night(:
should be a good two days.

i hate mondays.

they never work out so well for me.

precious.

we all should remember how short life is, and how anything can change so quickly.
third graders shouldn't have to get major plastic surgery because they got ran over by a car, it's... horrible. just horrible.

I believe in:

love
awkward moments
oreo cookies
writing on floors
the avett brothers
text messages
music in general
madison coressel
missing people
painting things
pictures of golf balls
ice cream in the middle of winter
sitting in the rain for four hours to see Virginia tech win.
my adorable cousins
facebook
being myself; and not changing for anyone.
unintentionally breaking hearts.
pizza.
best friends.
cherry lemon sundrop.
theatre.
Josh jones.
being alone every once in awhile.
my own style.

god, most of all, god.

(:

its been a great weekend so far.
i'm so glad this week was better than last week. literally, soooo glad.

this is awkward.

...and i don't like it.

urghhhh!

I. hate. geometry.
period, end of story.

i have to say, this week has been pretty spectacular so far.
i hope it stays like this. i hope i get to go to the game on friday, but if i do, i need to get to work on making my shirt. my school has no school spirit whatsoever. so i'm trying to make an effort.
tonight my youth pastor described me as "bah humbug." i have no idea what this is supposed to be. i guess i should try to be less bah humbug.
i can't freakin wait for this weekend <3

float on.

busybusybusy week already!
it's taking my mind off everything(:
well, I guess that's all school is good for.

obnoxious.

its so freaking obnoxious to "like" your own facebook status.
its like patting yourself on your back.
its like tooting your own horn.

its ridiculous is what it is.

actually, liking anything that you post (pictures, relationship changes, profile changes, etc.) is just plain obnoxious.

stop it.

it hurts.

i cry the most when the people i love are crying too.

especially boys.
i can't handle when boys cry.


life is real.
life is special.
life is short.
i love you.
don't forget it.

i hate death.

i cried tonight and i hadn't seen this kid since i was like... five?
there was a picture of him and my sister in his video. i almost fell apart.

no one should die at 18, they just shouldn't.

alrighty.

so far, this weekend hasn't been too horrible, but i have a feeling its going downhill from here.
i have to go to a visitation tonight and possibly a funeral tomorrow, funerals depress me. seeing people cry depresses me.

i'm starting to get a crick in my neck.
i don't understand what you said to me yesterday.
i hope virginia tech wins today. they probably will.
this time next week i'll be in blacksburg, that cheers me up a lot.
this time next month i'll be in orlando. this cheers me up even more.

the sun is now shining, i think i'll go drink some apple juice.

if.

if i have anything but a good weekend after what a horrible week its been.
it could get ugly, very, very ugly.

i don't appreciate it.

as far as i'm concerned.
we're no longer friends.

i'm sick of people telling me who i am or think i am.

and i thought today was going to be a good one.

lets get this straight.

you know what?
no.
just no.

I'm officially breaking down

this is the worst one i've had I awhile, everything is wrong.

for me,

it's often necessary to lie in my bed, and cry.

things change too fast.
a month ago, I guarantee(I hate spelling that word.) that we were texting right now, but no, things have changed.

all its really about.

all life is:
living.
dying.
struggling.


i'm becoming way more aware of this everyday.

it's a sickening feeling. but the most important thing is living. living for the moment. i'm trying really hard to do this. but living in the restraints of being fourteen is somewhat restricting.

i'm trying really hard to keep my friendships together.
i'm trying really hard to keep my life together. its hard. really really hard.

do you feel?

this isn't who i am.
this is who i've become.
i hate that with such a passion.

i hate when people are so skinny they could just disappear. i find it gross and disgusting.
NO ONE can rock grossly skinny. they just can't.

i think that the laughs that they put on tv sitcoms are grossly obnoxious. no one ACTUALLY believes there is a live studio audience there unless in fact, they show the studio audience, which they don't.

i can't believe in anyone right now. i just can't. no one gives me reason to.
i wish i was going to the fair this weekend. i'm excited for church. we didn't have youth last week. i miss it when we don't have it. a lot.
when i think about it... my youth group is basically the ONLY solid thing i have. and some people in there aren't even solid.
i can't wait for things to change.
they do. constantly.

I used to think you cared.

a lot more than you do.
ignorance is killer.
I can count on one hand the people who give a flying crap about me.
sucks. a lot.

Sweden.

I need you back in my life.
there are certain people who just make things okay, they're always gone at the least convenient times,

):

i'm much less okay than you think.

stop. rewind. freeze.
make everything okay again.

pillowcases.

things are short term. when you think about in a different sort of way, don't dwell on things now. because they're always going to change.

so basically.

my weekend will be filled with laundry, reading "The Color Purple" and college football.

my sister decided to leave me for the beach, and my best friend is in florida.
GO LIFE.

on the brightside, i love my part in fame (:

its truly been a good day.

the weather is perfect.
i'm auditioning tonight.
i'm not talking to you. and i'm not sure if its that i'm mad. or i just don't want to hear the lies.
i might be going to a soccer game tonight.
i went to the middle school and everyone stared at me like i was awesome. and got hit on by two seventh grade boys.
i want to go to SASC really bad. but its four hundred dollars. and i'll have to miss three and a half days of school. which i don't know if i can swing.
i had hardly any homework tonight, i should probably find a copy of the color purple.
oh well. i'm loving this day (: